Clouded view

A better view

Yesterday was my sixth day off work, not by choice. Most of the time I have spent the days hazy and tired from an array of painkillers. Feels like I've been taken back in time before my left hip was replaced. Unable to walk without a limp, unable to stand for any length of time and limited in my capacity to function without pain relief. The plan was for the right hip to be monitored and stabilised reducing as much deterioration as possible over the course of the next few years. My left hip was replaced with a shiny ceramic one three years ago, my right hip was to last five years - we are one and half years short of the plan.

I am not impressed. When I took this job, eight months ago I was relieved knowing that I would not be required to be on my feet all day. It would give me a balance of desk work, people engagement, autonomy and team, doing a job I enjoy. I didn't count on my body breaking down. Damn inconsiderate if you ask me.

And so I am fighting between bursts of energy whereby I burn the candle at both ends, frustrate my husband, as I try to achieve everything in a limited time before I crash and burn. Taking things to extreme as I occasionally do, I did crash only the other day, literally, into a 'speed bump' sign on my way home from work. Nothing like a message from the unknown - speed bump indeed.

I have one more week of work, five days to get a month's worth of work completed before I take some time off.  Chances of getting everything done are slim, I know, the job is ridiculous, but I will pretend it is possible. At least for the moment.

Looking outside the window I see spattering of rain on the window, I hear the wind howling around me and I can smell the dampness in the air. Forecasts for torrential rain and damaging storms are all around us, we are only getting the edges, barely enough to wet the ground. Annoying more than useful. Unfortunately the other parts of the state and indeed interstate are being battered about with flash flooding and homes damaged. This is also unhelpful and I hope everyone is able to stay safe.

Thankfully, we are not spending this weekend in the city as we did a fortnight ago given the weather would have dampened a few days of relaxation. Instead we enjoyed perfect conditions, to enjoy a surprise Bon Jovi concert, shop for some Christmas treats, explore another escape room  and even ventured to the roof top pool of our hotel for a paddle in between sampling a range of culinary delights. This is when the frustration of my hip really kicked in. The intensity of the pain was so severe we needed to find a doctor in the CBD on a Sunday morning. From this point we have not quite recovered.

Conversations about selling stock, buying feed, leasing, agisting, selling are frequent and again frustrating. Couple this with discussions and debates about our pending English adventure and sometimes its easier to bury your head into a good book, watch a lame sitcom or troll the pages of Facebook until your mind is numb. Or, as is my reality at present, take enough painkillers and you can be numb all over - physically, emotionally and academically. Makes getting anything completed near impossible.

With the end of the year on our doorstep I find myself reflecting and contemplating. Change again is raising its head and I'm at a loss.

Until next time,
N

Rivergum dry

Barren paddocks

The rain is falling softly, lightly indenting the dirt across the farm. It is welcome. It is but a drop in the proverbial ocean, not even close to being enough. 

Three years ago there were photos of lush paddocks with the greenest grass tickling the cows knees. Today, the contrast couldn't be more acute. Hard, compacted soil with sprigs of weed is the only growth to be seen. Even if the cows got down on their knees there is no grass to be eaten. Today is a another sad day, drought is very real and there is no sign of it breaking, despite the dampness in the air tonight.

A welcome sight - rain

We recently made the decision, knowing the result would be less than favourable, to send 29 of our younger steers and heifers to market, the food bowl is dry and in a few weeks they would be showing ribs. Hoping someone in South or West Gippsland, where the pasture is plentiful, would take them, we loaded them up on the semi and sent them on their way to a new home. Sold they did, at a huge loss. We are still reeling from the prices, despite knowing they would be poor, the harsh reality stings.  All our work, frosty mornings of feeding calves, drenching and caring for stock only to let them go for a song. A sad melody indeed.

We acknowledge that many are far worse, relying solely on the land for their income. Recently, the 'Need for Feed' convoy went through town and I was caught in the carpark as it barrelled by. Unashamedly, I shed a tear for the many farmers who would be waiting for this essential supply, knowing in a small way how heartbreaking these days will be for them. Tears also flowed for the generosity of the many who were carting hay and travelling to towns far from home to support their fellow Cockies.

Young ones off to sale

Townies will never understand, the heartache that comes with raising livestock, the emotional investment, not to mention the financial investment that goes hand in hand with any primary production. But they will feel the impact of drought in the coming months with food sources impacted and prices inevitably bound to increase. The other day the news reporters were trumpeting about some rains received in northern NSW, and suggesting this would be enough to make them happy. A months measure overnight - sounds good but.....seriously how ridiculous to think that a brief deluge would break a drought. The ground is so hard and unforgiving that weeks of gentle soaking rain is needed to seep into the layers of soil before there is a chance for recovery. Reporters who try to sensationalise the stories need to learn some lessons before reporting such dribble. This is someone's livelihood, their past and future all wrapped up in the land they work. This is their life and it is seemingly blowing away with every gust of wind.
So for us, fortunate enough to have a choice, we will not be able to sustain our remaining cattle, beautiful cows with young calves at foot. We have three round bales left, a handful of pellets and some bushland that will keep them in feed for a few weeks. Anyone who has ever breastfed will know that feeding babies is hungry work and these mumma's need grass. Again we will look to sell. Again we will be saddened and disappointed. Unless rain arrives - there is always hope while the sun sets and rises each day.

Orphan 'Winston' always hungry

Helping Poppy

Now that daylight savings is upon us we are able to enjoy the longer days and get the chores done at a more leisurely pace after work, this provides some down time and often a chance to reflect and complete some of the little jobs. At present the feeding of one very hungry orphaned calf (one of twins) keeps us on our toes as Winston demands his daily milk. Saved from the frosty night after his mum rejected him, he was so small he fit nicely in the footwell of the ute, easily carried across the paddock by Daryl. Nowadays he could easily knock us over on our backside with one head butt. He has grown from strength to strength and thinks he is our pet. With Spring in full swing, the veggie patch is being turned over for new crops to be planted. Daryl even had a little help from our beautiful grandchildren. The beehive is alive with activity and the bees are busy preparing, what we hope will be, delicious honey.

Unfortunately, we lost a number of trees over Winter, despite our efforts to protect them from the dry and frost but regardless the wind breaks, whose growth also stagnated over Winter, are being plied with water (thank goodness for the new bore) and are showing promising signs with buds and new growth sprouting along the driveway.

Spring crop 

Unfortunately, the water tanks are also dry and we have reverted back to town water (yuck) but its better than no water! When the rain does come, it is delightful to hear the sound of water running into the tanks. The carport now complete helps gather as much rainfall as possible.
Right now we can hear trickles of water running into the tanks..but you need to listen carefully.

The coming weeks will be filled with more heartbreaking decisions and no doubt you will see some photos of cows, with calves at foot, in the hopes we can find them a new home for a fair price.

Here's hoping.

Until next time,
N

Escape to the High Country

Saturday morning: The addictive aroma of cooked bacon permeates the two-room hut and we have settled down in our respective chairs to let the feast settle in our tummies. Four friends have once again taken to escaping the rigors of the everyday and come to a place called “Anthony Higgins High Country Accommodation” north of Licola. 

The thermostat above the kitchen bench reads 18 degrees Celsius, balmy and toasty in comparison with the verandah thermostat which is currently hovering over zero degrees. An open fire provides warmth and the comforting crackle and pop is heard every few seconds. Its familiarity and predictability are soothing to the soul as much as the wind whipping around us outside. The cows came to greet us this morning as a dozen young calves romped along the front of the house while their mothers looked on in amusement. They frolic and run through the rolling paddocks, curious of the people who have moved into their area, they venture close to our back fence, noses checking out all and sundry.

We arrived yesterday afternoon after a leisurely road trip along the mountainous, windy roads. Coming off night shift, Daryl scored a few hours sleep while Carol, Zac and I worked the supermarkets, butchers and bottle shop to get our required supplies. After leaving numerous notes for the farm sitters to ensure our own livestock are well looked after, although this was done with some concern as we have a mumma cow showing shows of imminent birthing and a young calf looking weak and tired. Despite all this, we left strategies in place to deal with any animal welfare issues. So, with Carol rounding us all up with the determination of a school head mistress, we got on the road and sped our way to the Farmer’s Arm pub in Newry. I admit, an interesting choice of lunching venue but it was on our way, and as we had not been there, decided we should give it a try. Calling the publicans as we left, checking they would still be serving lunch, they kept the kitchen open for us and we were greeted with the best of old fashioned country hospitality. As the only patrons in the pub we turned down the tv, cranked up the juke box, and got the pool balls on the table. A few drinks (only one for me as the driver!) a lovely lunch and a lot of laughs provided the foundation for what we hope will be a weekend of recharging. 

The hut is rustic but a far cry from the dirt floors and grunge that usually greets you when you take up residence up the high country. It has a functional kitchen, plenty of chairs, reasonable beds and million-dollar views. Even the loo (situated a short stroll from the main residence) has magnificent views. Rolling hills, snowlines (yes there is snow) and rainbows are hard to beat. 

Our entertainment for the weekend is a mixture of card games, shooting practice, reading, crocheting and generally talking about a whole lot of everything – as the day progresses a few alcoholic beverages will be shared and feasting continues well into the night. 

There is only one bedroom consisting of a queen bed, six single bunks and a questionable fold out couch. So, if you’re after some privacy, this is not the place to come. It’s all about sharing in a place like this. Once you get passed the dust (there is plenty of cleaning equipment) and the massive deer head which seems to stare at you with its large, sad brown eyes as it stands guard over the fireplace, there really is nothing else to do but relax. No traffic, no street lights, no pollution – it’s magic. 

The owner of the property, Anthony, is a quiet, unassuming man, friendly and welcoming. He provides copious amounts of firewood for those of us crazy enough to stay during the winter season. The best thing about travelling during winter is the potential for snow, which we seldom, if ever, see in the lowlands along with the fact that few people will brave the conditions. And I must admit the less people around the better. Today is the first day I feel a bit rested following a mega busy few weeks at work. Long days including weekends, coming home in the dark after leaving in the dark for work, eventually take their toll. It’s like being constantly on fast forward, eventually you start to wear the tape out. My days at work rarely have time for lunch with conflicting demands, diverse personalities and escalating priorities causing a fair share of stress. Having moved into this role recently, the stakes for me are higher. I don’t cope with doing half a job and strive for excellence. Therefore, walking away when things are not working well or in the right place, is impossible, even if it means exceptionally long hours. With every new role the learning curve is steep and sometimes lonely. However, I must admit, in recent days I’ve discovered a new level of support from the staff around me, little things like offering to make me a cuppa, when they know I haven’t had time to drink the one I made on arrival hours earlier, putting equipment together for me, taking messages and in effect letting me know they care. This is what makes the difference between succeeding and not giving up. Team is a powerful potion. But this weekend is not about work, I promised Daryl I would not do anything work related, up here in the middle of nowhere we are back to basics – no Wi-Fi, no electricity, no microwave, no dishwasher and no tv. Blissful really!

Well it’s time for a my fourth cuppa this morning (it’s 10.30). I’ll be back to let you know about our adventures after this afternoon.

Saturday late afternoon: 

The sky is now clouded over with ominous black clouds, moving swiftly across the sky towards the snowline, soon we will not be able to see past our noses. It’s getting harder and harder to make our way to the outdoor toilet, where when you sit on the seat and recover from the chill against your bare skin, all you can see are the stunning views and your own breath, it’s that cold. Today reached a balmy 2 degrees. 

We filled the afternoon with a drive around the various tracks and checked out a range of camp sites with a view to warmer days and camping. We completed a baby river crossing, bringing back memories of grander treks many moments ago. We are now planning more in the future. A little rock climbing, admiration of the crystal-clear water running rapidly across the stones gave us all a reminder of the blessing we have on our doorstep. On the way 

home, we found a secure gully and set up some targets, the shotgun and rifle had a workout until we decided those dark clouds were too close, the temperature far too low, the lure of the warm fire and drinks called us home. 

After a game of cards, lunch and a nap, the boys have gone back out in the hope of claiming a fox or two. The girls are contented to stay indoors and man the fire. 

Sunday: A new day has dawned and it is perfect, sun is shining, through the whispers of clouds and no wind rustles the trees. We have decided to cook breakfast outdoors and Daryl is happily getting his inner hilbilly on show, sourcing dry kindling from the tree-line and lighting a fire fit for bacon, eggs, tomatoes and bread on the built in hot plate. After a very snuggling night, keeping warm from the chill in the air, a shower was in order. Unsure if hot water would be a modern convenience I braved the outdoor shower and found, to my delight steaming water and a relatively clean shower base. Heaven under the shower head. 

Our final evening here was well spent with multiple card games with the winning post shared amongst us, free flowing drinks and a feed fit to be seen on any reputable cooking show. We have depleted Anthony’s excellent firewood supply and I suspect he will spend the next few days restocking for the next lot of guests who choose to enter a remote spot of paradise. Anthony dropped in this morning on his way to feed his herd of cows. With his five cattle dogs in tow he accepted the offer of a coffee and chatted amiably for a while entertaining us with some of the stories of days gone by and the mischief and mayhem a younger Anthony created. Daryl and he exchanged a few tales as Daryl himself grew up exploring a large part of the high country during his youth and younger years.  

This afternoon we will meander to our respective homes and once again prepare for the working week ahead. During getaways such as this, I wonder what it might be like to live a different life. However, for now at our home, the cows are due to calve, the carport is being concreted next weekend, planned coffee catch ups are made and we have a new grandbaby due to join our family in a few weeks. 

We have no complaints.

Until next time,

N

When a loss makes a winning opportunity.

 I lost a bet a few weeks ago. Richmond versus Collingwood. Long time AFL rivals and a silent part of our marriage. You see, Daryl is a staunch Tigers fan and I have barracked for the Pies since forever, so when we wed the rivalry continued year in year out. This year, Daryl decided to sweeten the game and throw in the suggestion of a wager - the loser takes the winner out for tea. I suspect he knew he would win and planned something he would benefit from in no uncertain terms. For me, I wasn't too fussed, didn't even watch the game but noted the score with a little more interest than usual. As luck would have it, the Pies dive bombed and the Tigers roared, I was now responsible for a night out on the town. Having started a

new job at work, the last couple of weeks have been hectic and I have been fatigued and I suspect running on adrenaline. As such, planning dinners out was not on my priority list. But not to renege on a bet, the loss niggled at my subconscious. At some point during this last week I decided that this bet offered me an opportunity - a chance to create some "us time".  A short getaway, designed to recharge the batteries and enjoy some uninterrupted time away from the responsibilities of the farm. So in a few hours I had booked a night away, with views over the water, near the beach and a room with a spa. A combination of the things we both enjoy. The sounds of the sea, the taste of salt in the air, the clear blue sky dotted with seagulls in the air and the elegance of the swans in the lake create a backdrop of relaxation and romance. Dinner out at our favourite

restaurant along with a cocktail or two and a bottle of red, made a beautiful night seem magical. A late check out the next day afforded us a sleep in. At the end of a long week the timing was just perfect. My loss gave us the chance to talk, to laugh, to remember how much we care about each other, and our life as a whole. We talked about how fortunate we are to share common goals, dreams and aspirations, the joy we share with friends along with the struggles and frustrations that fracture our days. Seems to me my loss was definitely a win for us both. The Lakes Entrance economy also benefited from our presence!

Of course after all great retreats, reality returns wth bite. Today we spent the day catching up. The cows needed hay, the chooks needed their pens cleaned including removing all the old flooring and replacing it with new sawdust. The old stuff, will make the best fertiliser and is filled with enough chook manure to fill a very large trailer. The task took several hours. Wearing a dust mask and safety glasses we raked and shovelled and got covered in grime. The white masks ended up a putrid shade of black and my hair resembled dreadlocks gone very wrong (although personally I never think dreadlocks go right). In our down time, Daryl thought loading up

the bonfire pile with more random tree branches would be a fun filled activity! Following our morning adventures I spent the afternoon in the kitchen, cooking up a storm of soups ready for quick and easy meals, along with fritters and naturally everyone still wanted to eat dinner, so a main meal was also on the agenda.
Now, after a glass of wine, a delicious meal and all the jobs completed I am well and truly ready for a nap. Daryl is out walking his gun, I haven't heard any gunfire so I suspect he has not found any vermin to shoot, as yet. Another week of work looms ahead of me. Daryl's holidays are over and he returns on Tuesday. We look forward to our next retreat, whatever form that takes; maybe the next time the Tigers and the Pies line up I will be the one getting whisked away for some romantic rendezvous.

Until next time,
N

A season in time

My arms are stinging as I write today, not from typing overload, but from cutting back out-of-control rose bushes and ground covers that reach to my navel instead of crawling along the ground as advertised. I have cleaned up the blood trails from my forearms and wiped the dust from my eyes. I look at this patch of garden and inwardly I groan. It has been a rose garden since I was a little tacker. I remember planting the thorny bastards and in the following years they have stood firm during frosts, winds and rain not to mention the dry and neglect.
When we moved back here, a few years ago, I added more roses, most of them given to us for significant reasons - to mark the death of my mother, to mark a friendship, now also dead, and finally to mark the death of my father. There's something strange about giving a living gift to mark the end of a life. Do we do this to remember the life that has gone by seeing new growth? I'm not entirely sure, but I understand the sentiment. For me it's the aroma. Anytime I smell roses, I remember. So many memories to be found in the familiarity of fragrance.
Recently, however, many of these roses have grown woody and tough, they send out weird tangled shoots, there are so many they bite me anytime I go to pick the flowers or trim them back. So I had decided to cull them and today, I finally finished the task.

The death markers are still there, they are younger and produce stunning flowers, fragrant and rich in colour. In the height of the flowering season, the blooms are always cut and I fill the vases inside, which in turn fills the house with a sweet scent infused with emotion and memory.

Of course this time of year the rose bushes are bare, its getting cool and finally the fires are being lit. The sweet scent is now replaced by the smokey, woody warmth that wraps around you the moment you enter the front door. The chimney gives away the warmth inside, the plumes of smoke ascend high into the sky and the wind plays with it, sending it east and west, at its will. There is comfort in seeing this as I drive down the road that leads home. During winter I am guilty of keeping the home fires very well

stacked, a jumper is never needed in our place. I can only do this thanks to Daryl's wood cutting efforts and his diligent gathering of fuel. He and his Dad have spent many hours during the past few weeks filling our shed full of red gum. Despite his advancing years, my father-in-law is fiercely independent and active, hauling wood, using the splitter and even the chainsaw. I hope we have many more seasons with him, although the time may come soon when he needs to leave the job of chainsawing to the young ones.

Occasionally, others have helped out and even helped themselves to fill their own sheds. Daryl says he enjoys it. I have not had the chance to help this year, apart from the odd collection of wood from the bush. I haven't contributed much at all. I rationalise this by the knowledge that Daryl and his Dad are spending time together, creating unbreakable bonds and memories that are more precious than gold.

With every season there are tasks to be completed, preparations made, the cycle never ends. Like every day, today is just a moment in time, a season, an opportunity. Make it worthy and take a moment to breathe deeply, enjoying the sounds and smells of today, they will be the memories of your yesterdays for all of our tomorrows.

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years. Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth."-  Diane Ackerman


Until next time,
N

Escaping to an Escape Room

Ever been to an escape room?
If not, I encourage you to do so. It is one of many recent crazes to amuse our small minds but I must admit this one has got me. After hearing about it, from my son and his partner, we decided to surprise Daryl with a belated birthday trip to a 'Clockwork themed' Escape Room in Oakleigh, a short time ago. Armed with only our individual problem-solving skills, friends Zac and Carol joined Daryl and I on our adventure. In the beginning, Daryl was indeed skeptical but by the end he was a converted fan. According to a Google search an Escape Room is a real-life team-based puzzle game, where you are locked in a room and have to solve puzzles together to get out. The escape rooms are team based, and we found four an excellent number of people due to the limiting size of the room, but also allowing enough diversity in problem-solving skills to enable us to work together. Escape rooms have a clear objective which is to "escape" the room, which will involve finding a key, a key combo, or activating some sort of mechanism that will unlock the final door. Escape rooms are usually themed under some kind of "story". Some of these themes are stories, where you play some sort of character who was trapped in X and need to find themselves out. We chose clockworks, which was about travelling back in time, given Daryl's attraction to old clocks. The rooms were decorated from this theme and I have to say the designers are very clever. The puzzles involve finding hidden objects around the room, using tools to find clues,  pattern matching and recognition, ciphers, visual and spatial reasoning, putting together related physical objects and so much more. The puzzles aren't really the "logic puzzle" type - usually these puzzles are highly biased towards ones that require mostly creativity and a little bit of "thinking outside of the box". Our escape room had two rooms and we had to find a number of keys and codes, allowing us to progress to the next step. It is time limited, so there is a little pressure, especially if you want to succeed. We found the organisers very helpful and only had to ask for help twice. As we endeavoured to unravel each clue, there were moments of small tensions and frustration but mostly it brought the best out in all of us. We worked well as a team and we were determined to solve it. And we did, after they gave us an extra ten minutes. What conversation it created when we finally escaped, what fun it was to re-visit the scenes and scenarios. So if you looking for something different then why not find an escape room near you! 

The escape room was one of a number of activities we took on as part of Daryl's surprise weekend. Taking him away from the farm, can be a challenge, finding someone to mind the animals and ensure they are all ok, is not always simple and I know he worries while we are gone. But taking him away is important not just for his physical health ( he needs to rest even if he doesn't think so!) but also for our relationship and the relationships we build with our friends. Farming is not everyone's cup of tea and it's nice to play in someone else's backyard on occasion. 

So the escape weekend consisted of dodgy accommodation (thanks to it being grand prix weekend); shopping at DFO (sorry Zac we know you hated it); fabulous food at a variety of locations, of particular note souvlaki at Stalactites Restaurant (go there, its just divine);  club style tenpin bowling, (or disco dancing Carol style with encouragement from tequila shots and cocktails); Go-Kart racing; food truck festival and lots of coffee and other liquid refreshments. We didn't realise that when we organised the trip it would be the Greek Independence Day and therefore found ourselves among thousands of Greek descendants as they celebrated their day in Oakleigh. Lots of noise and colour and barely a space to walk between the crowds we managed to miraculously find a table in a restaurant and enjoyed the delectable delights of Greek cuisine. The weekend was busy and terribly indulgent but if you can't indulge now and again, then life is simply hard work and where is the joy in that?

Speaking about hard work, the hole from my previous blog is still not big enough so Daryl spent a few hours this morning digging some more. At least he got some reprieve after escaping the hole and enjoying the delights of the Tinamba Food and Wine Festival. The hole will wait another day. Will keep you posted.

Until next time,
N

Watch out for large holes

I came home today and found a very large hole at the front of my house, and my husband, surrounded by the canine family, looking more than exhausted as he rested on a very large drainage pipe. The hole has grown extensively over the past few weeks with the help of the tractor and auger, however today’s efforts were impressive, to me the observer, after the fact. Having bent the auger (who does that!) due to the ground being like concrete, and hiring a mini digger not fitting in the budget, it was left to major muscle on a crowbar and shovel. You will not be surprised to find that Daryl needed a shower, new arms and a couple of stiff drinks before he returned to his former self, albeit a little achy. This hole is indicative of the frustration we are facing of late, with no rain in sight, the ground continues to harden and remain dry and desolate. We are feeding the cows hay and lucerne and we are on the lookout for silage to supplement the meagre picking of the paddocks. We also feed them bread collected each Saturday from a local bakery for a small fee which we pay to take the excess loaves which would otherwise be thrown in the bin. Such a waste, if you consider that some weeks we get anywhere from 5 to 15 massive garbage bags full of bread. The sweet treats are sadly thrown in the bin, another example of how our laws encourage wastage. The cows and chooks love the bread, as do the damn rats if they can get hold of it. The cows will gallop down the paddock if they hear the ute and I’m sure they know when it’s Saturday evening and the bread collection is done. Speaking of animal feed, we have trialed a new chook feed and coincidentally the egg production has decreased dramatically. This is not a good sign. The egg orders are flowing fast and I am delighted each time we get a new customer. Our reasoning suggests It could be some chooks going into molting season, a select few chooks who are free loading or a protest in the change of grain. To try and work out the issue we have bought a couple of bags of the former feed and put it in their feed bins. If egg production improves problem solved and if it doesn’t then some of these chickens will be walking a fine line between free ranging and soup. Unfortunately, the new feed is much cheaper as we buy it in bulker bags and if we return to our old feed source our costs will once again be raised. This is not something we need right now. On the back of a long, dry summer/autumn season is the increased costs associated with the farm, including having to source hay rather than cutting our own. We had the depressing tasks of trying to balance the books last night, the resulting efforts sent us straight to the wine cupboard, a few glasses allowing the numbers to blur and eventually we couldn’t see the negative sign so clearly. Funds are certainly stretched these days with no income from the farm expected and only expenses going out. Our social life is severely on hold, not to mention other treats or gifts. It is not only the continuous warm weather that saps me some days. But this is the cycle of farming, no doubt in a season or two we will thrive again…at least that’s the plan.
 Back to that rather large hole, it is required to be used as a sump pit beside the carport concrete to drain away the excess water which runs off the concrete driveway we are intending to lay. Unfortunately, the house was built lower than the fall of the paddocks and every winter for as long as I can remember the area surrounding the house has flooded. Poor design is once again causing issues. My father tried to resolve the issue by running pipes into the paddocks and this achieved an ineffective lake of mud. Mind you he chose where to build this particular house and I suspect it was the cheapest option! 

The carport has been a long, slow developing project, but hopefully it will be ready before the winter season. In readiness for our slow approaching winter the chimneys have been cleaned and the combustion stove thoroughly scraped and all the excess ash cleared. We have tested the stove a couple of times recently and once again the water is boiling super-hot and the comforting aroma of wood burning permeates the house. I am eagerly awaiting the cooler days and chilly nights, unlike most people I know who relish the hot summer sun. The forecast still ranks a few days next week in the high 20 and low 30s, way too warm for autumn and I am hoping I can avoid the sun’s sting as best as possible. 

However you spend the last remaining warmth of autumn I hope it is with a happy heart and soul filled with sunshine.


 Til next time, N.

One tick and one tock at a time.

In my efforts to clean up the surfaces covered with the past few weeks’ worth of letters, magazines, flyers and invoices, I found my late father’s watch. Silver coloured with a clip lock, it ticks away, passing every second with a small sound, so subtle you need to really focus to hear it, yet it represents such a large concept. Time is passing by one tick and tock at a time. I stood there momentarily, waiting for the welling in my eyes to pass and remind myself that everything is ok, just different. I have continued his habit to wear a watch and rarely will I not have one on. I suspect this is steeped in the need to achieve, not waste time. Planning provides the avenue to productivity and then persistence and often a bit of sweat and a few tears achieve the results.  I am a goal setter whereas my husband Daryl is not, he tends to go with the flow and tackle whatever job needs attention first. Both systems have their flaws and favours. But I must admit, following some reflection after writing my father’s eulogy a couple of thoughts have impressed upon me and I have found myself making changes.

When you write a eulogy (I’ve done two now, both for parents) it is a process of reflection, consultation, and finally prioritising what information to include. It is an emotive process filled with questions that are marred by grief and loss. Constant questioning over what words will sum up the life of a person, what stories will show the character of this person and what achievements will be memorable to those who knew them. How will their final tale be told? At the end of this process I discovered that you focus on the very foundations of who we are as humans – were they kind, funny, stern, resilient, compassionate, determined, stubborn, silly. We want to know how their life impacted on other lives, our lives, how did they intersect, entangle amongst the hundreds of people they crossed paths with, professionally, personally, unintentionally. Did they strive to make the world a better place, did they aim to bring joy into each day, did they dream of better things and make efforts to achieve those dreams - it is these stories that we crave to hear in their final tale. It isn’t about wealth or status, it isn’t about fame or fortune, while they may be contributing components of a person’s life they are the minor factor. It is about how they achieved these things. What sort of person were they as they ascended the corporate ladder or social sets, how did they treat people, how did they care. These are the questions that come to the fore after much reflection.

My Father’s watch is quietly ticking as I type away. It is hard not to reflect on my own use of time. In the past few weeks I have been sorting and clearing out, simplicity is the trend term right now and I guess I am sensing the need to simplify my life in order to achieve the important tasks. I sat Daryl down one day recently and asked him to work with me to make a Rivergum To Do list for 2018, fearing that we would again get so caught up in doing things that we didn’t achieve our main goals. Now the farm is always going to throw up unexpected tasks that will need to be attended to, especially with animals a factor, but I sense if we focus we will achieve far more this year. So, a list has been developed and is included later on. The list only looks at major tasks and sometimes it is disappointing to note that we have been able to only cross off one or two jobs so far. Many of the jobs are in progress and rely on other factors to be completed before they can be classed as finished.

In the meantime, we have agreed to simplify the farm as much as possible, this will include minimising the complexity of the farm. I have decided rearing chicks is too time consuming and while they are adorable, they require extra attention and care that I don’t have the time to provide. So, once these last two lots are grown, we will concentrate on egg production. This is something I really enjoy and I love being able to walk into the pen and have the hens run up to me as if they are saying hello (I know they only want food). I enjoy when friends and grandkids get a buzz out of collecting eggs and I get a great sense of achievement when people enjoy eating our eggs, fresh and full of flavour. Our alpacas, who are low maintenance, bring joy to my day and I could watch them meander the paddocks with ease. Such funny little creatures, I would happily have a few more and keep those dastardly foxes at bay. Our herd of cattle will continue to transform from breeders to steers and once again this is in an effort to create ease of function.

Not having breeders will allow us to leave the farm, in the hands of farm sitters who will be able to enjoy the property without the stress of potential calving problems. Going away and having a break at the beach or the city is important to both Daryl and I. We refuse to become slaves to the land we love, it is so easy to do. I watched my parents do it. I won’t let us fall into that trap. Every now and again I check and ask Daryl if he is still enjoying being a farmer, and while he says yes without hesitation and a sparkle in his eyes, we will continue, but when the uncertainty starts to creep into his voice then it will be time to reassess our priorities. For now, though Daryl has got his new bee hive happening and we have hundreds of bees busily working on producing what we hope will be heavenly honey. For a while we considered raising pigs, but at this stage that is off the agenda, simply due to the cost and time required to make it successful. But who knows what the future holds. For now, the aim is to enjoy the challenge of Rivergum restoration, without detracting from time with our families and friends or holidays and spontaneous trips away. Life is way too short to waste on things that bring no joy.

Standing at the lectern, with a coffin beside you, watching a sea of tears  on faces grieving the loss of a friend, father or foe quickly reminds you how precious life is and once it’s gone, its gone forever, there is no second chance to say I’m sorry, I love you, or I forgive you.

As I type away the washing machine is whirring in the background, the butterflies are frolicking outside the window as the cockatoos call out to one another. The sun is shining brightly, Bek is working at her new part-time job and Daryl, with the help of his father Max and friend Zac, are in the bushland collecting firewood for winter. If you listen carefully you can hear the sounds of chainsaws roaring. They are in their element. I am happily pottering around the house today, we have my son and granddaughter joining us for tea tonight. I will collect our friend Carol from her conference soon. I spent time with my offspring yesterday and we had friends over for tea last night. 

These are good days.  

Rivergum To Do List 2018:

Carport - Concreting

-       Drainage

-       Roof/wall

-       Storm water

-       Lights and PowerPoint

2    Tanks    -  Connect pump

-       Connect fittings (house)

-       Connect fittings (shed)

-       Power point

3   Fence backyard – Back fence line and driveway side

-       Spray weeds

-       Load of top soil

-       Fence yard

4   Driveway paddock fence – Cut trees to make billets

-       ram posts

-       Cut posts and rails for front fence (gum)

-       Wire fence

-       Oil posts and rails

     House front fence – Cut trees to make billets

-       Ram posts

-       Cut rails

-       Oil billets and rails

-       Put on chicken wire

6   Finish side house fence (paddock) – ram pine posts

-       Hang gates

-       Wire fence (dog proof)

7   Fence cattle yard – extend yards

-       Redesign gate access to paddocks

-       Complete fence line to paddock

-       Replace timbers on cattle race

8   Spray thistles – Everywhere!

9   Sow annual crop – Autumn (corner south-west paddock) –

     Remove concrete – old piggery and near feedlot

     Redesign chook pen – change so chooks cannot roost in laying boxes

                            -       Change so can access eggs from outside pen

Create new chook pen for broody chooks – behind house shed

1    Water tank – place behind house shed

      Establish paddocks where old piggery stood

      Fix bush fence lines – West neighbour’s Boundary

-       East neighbour’s Boundary

-       Fence line between flat paddocks and morass

1     Paint house windows – East lounge

-       North Lounge

-       Ensuite

-       WIR Master BR

-       Spare BR

-       Bek’s BR

-       WC

-       Kitchen

       Paint house door frames – Front door

-       Sliding

-       Laundry

Paint fascia boards – verandah

       Finish back verandah – close in East side

-       Replace gate and gate position

-       Build fernery West side and close in verandah

       Vegetable garden – create pathways (gravel/concrete)

-       New fence

-       Extend once old chook pen is gone

  Backyard – Concrete around clotheslines

-       Put in pathways to clothesline from house

-       Put in pathways to garden from house

       Trees in front paddock – remove tyres from base

-       Trim up branches

        East paddock – remove wooden fence

-       Remove irrigation pipes

       Central paddocks – remove irrigation pipework

       Water troughs – dig new supply lines for cattle troughs:

-       1 x shared between 2 paddocks behind feedlot

-       4 x single troughs for West paddock

Repair Land Cruiser

The list is extensive and entails hours and hours of labour. I’m not sure if we we will achieve everything, as this list is only about the farm, not the rest of life!! But we will give a go and review at the end of 2018.

Wish us luck!

Until next time,

N