One tick and one tock at a time.

In my efforts to clean up the surfaces covered with the past few weeks’ worth of letters, magazines, flyers and invoices, I found my late father’s watch. Silver coloured with a clip lock, it ticks away, passing every second with a small sound, so subtle you need to really focus to hear it, yet it represents such a large concept. Time is passing by one tick and tock at a time. I stood there momentarily, waiting for the welling in my eyes to pass and remind myself that everything is ok, just different. I have continued his habit to wear a watch and rarely will I not have one on. I suspect this is steeped in the need to achieve, not waste time. Planning provides the avenue to productivity and then persistence and often a bit of sweat and a few tears achieve the results.  I am a goal setter whereas my husband Daryl is not, he tends to go with the flow and tackle whatever job needs attention first. Both systems have their flaws and favours. But I must admit, following some reflection after writing my father’s eulogy a couple of thoughts have impressed upon me and I have found myself making changes.

When you write a eulogy (I’ve done two now, both for parents) it is a process of reflection, consultation, and finally prioritising what information to include. It is an emotive process filled with questions that are marred by grief and loss. Constant questioning over what words will sum up the life of a person, what stories will show the character of this person and what achievements will be memorable to those who knew them. How will their final tale be told? At the end of this process I discovered that you focus on the very foundations of who we are as humans – were they kind, funny, stern, resilient, compassionate, determined, stubborn, silly. We want to know how their life impacted on other lives, our lives, how did they intersect, entangle amongst the hundreds of people they crossed paths with, professionally, personally, unintentionally. Did they strive to make the world a better place, did they aim to bring joy into each day, did they dream of better things and make efforts to achieve those dreams - it is these stories that we crave to hear in their final tale. It isn’t about wealth or status, it isn’t about fame or fortune, while they may be contributing components of a person’s life they are the minor factor. It is about how they achieved these things. What sort of person were they as they ascended the corporate ladder or social sets, how did they treat people, how did they care. These are the questions that come to the fore after much reflection.

My Father’s watch is quietly ticking as I type away. It is hard not to reflect on my own use of time. In the past few weeks I have been sorting and clearing out, simplicity is the trend term right now and I guess I am sensing the need to simplify my life in order to achieve the important tasks. I sat Daryl down one day recently and asked him to work with me to make a Rivergum To Do list for 2018, fearing that we would again get so caught up in doing things that we didn’t achieve our main goals. Now the farm is always going to throw up unexpected tasks that will need to be attended to, especially with animals a factor, but I sense if we focus we will achieve far more this year. So, a list has been developed and is included later on. The list only looks at major tasks and sometimes it is disappointing to note that we have been able to only cross off one or two jobs so far. Many of the jobs are in progress and rely on other factors to be completed before they can be classed as finished.

In the meantime, we have agreed to simplify the farm as much as possible, this will include minimising the complexity of the farm. I have decided rearing chicks is too time consuming and while they are adorable, they require extra attention and care that I don’t have the time to provide. So, once these last two lots are grown, we will concentrate on egg production. This is something I really enjoy and I love being able to walk into the pen and have the hens run up to me as if they are saying hello (I know they only want food). I enjoy when friends and grandkids get a buzz out of collecting eggs and I get a great sense of achievement when people enjoy eating our eggs, fresh and full of flavour. Our alpacas, who are low maintenance, bring joy to my day and I could watch them meander the paddocks with ease. Such funny little creatures, I would happily have a few more and keep those dastardly foxes at bay. Our herd of cattle will continue to transform from breeders to steers and once again this is in an effort to create ease of function.

Not having breeders will allow us to leave the farm, in the hands of farm sitters who will be able to enjoy the property without the stress of potential calving problems. Going away and having a break at the beach or the city is important to both Daryl and I. We refuse to become slaves to the land we love, it is so easy to do. I watched my parents do it. I won’t let us fall into that trap. Every now and again I check and ask Daryl if he is still enjoying being a farmer, and while he says yes without hesitation and a sparkle in his eyes, we will continue, but when the uncertainty starts to creep into his voice then it will be time to reassess our priorities. For now, though Daryl has got his new bee hive happening and we have hundreds of bees busily working on producing what we hope will be heavenly honey. For a while we considered raising pigs, but at this stage that is off the agenda, simply due to the cost and time required to make it successful. But who knows what the future holds. For now, the aim is to enjoy the challenge of Rivergum restoration, without detracting from time with our families and friends or holidays and spontaneous trips away. Life is way too short to waste on things that bring no joy.

Standing at the lectern, with a coffin beside you, watching a sea of tears  on faces grieving the loss of a friend, father or foe quickly reminds you how precious life is and once it’s gone, its gone forever, there is no second chance to say I’m sorry, I love you, or I forgive you.

As I type away the washing machine is whirring in the background, the butterflies are frolicking outside the window as the cockatoos call out to one another. The sun is shining brightly, Bek is working at her new part-time job and Daryl, with the help of his father Max and friend Zac, are in the bushland collecting firewood for winter. If you listen carefully you can hear the sounds of chainsaws roaring. They are in their element. I am happily pottering around the house today, we have my son and granddaughter joining us for tea tonight. I will collect our friend Carol from her conference soon. I spent time with my offspring yesterday and we had friends over for tea last night. 

These are good days.  

Rivergum To Do List 2018:

Carport - Concreting

-       Drainage

-       Roof/wall

-       Storm water

-       Lights and PowerPoint

2    Tanks    -  Connect pump

-       Connect fittings (house)

-       Connect fittings (shed)

-       Power point

3   Fence backyard – Back fence line and driveway side

-       Spray weeds

-       Load of top soil

-       Fence yard

4   Driveway paddock fence – Cut trees to make billets

-       ram posts

-       Cut posts and rails for front fence (gum)

-       Wire fence

-       Oil posts and rails

     House front fence – Cut trees to make billets

-       Ram posts

-       Cut rails

-       Oil billets and rails

-       Put on chicken wire

6   Finish side house fence (paddock) – ram pine posts

-       Hang gates

-       Wire fence (dog proof)

7   Fence cattle yard – extend yards

-       Redesign gate access to paddocks

-       Complete fence line to paddock

-       Replace timbers on cattle race

8   Spray thistles – Everywhere!

9   Sow annual crop – Autumn (corner south-west paddock) –

     Remove concrete – old piggery and near feedlot

     Redesign chook pen – change so chooks cannot roost in laying boxes

                            -       Change so can access eggs from outside pen

Create new chook pen for broody chooks – behind house shed

1    Water tank – place behind house shed

      Establish paddocks where old piggery stood

      Fix bush fence lines – West neighbour’s Boundary

-       East neighbour’s Boundary

-       Fence line between flat paddocks and morass

1     Paint house windows – East lounge

-       North Lounge

-       Ensuite

-       WIR Master BR

-       Spare BR

-       Bek’s BR

-       WC

-       Kitchen

       Paint house door frames – Front door

-       Sliding

-       Laundry

Paint fascia boards – verandah

       Finish back verandah – close in East side

-       Replace gate and gate position

-       Build fernery West side and close in verandah

       Vegetable garden – create pathways (gravel/concrete)

-       New fence

-       Extend once old chook pen is gone

  Backyard – Concrete around clotheslines

-       Put in pathways to clothesline from house

-       Put in pathways to garden from house

       Trees in front paddock – remove tyres from base

-       Trim up branches

        East paddock – remove wooden fence

-       Remove irrigation pipes

       Central paddocks – remove irrigation pipework

       Water troughs – dig new supply lines for cattle troughs:

-       1 x shared between 2 paddocks behind feedlot

-       4 x single troughs for West paddock

Repair Land Cruiser

The list is extensive and entails hours and hours of labour. I’m not sure if we we will achieve everything, as this list is only about the farm, not the rest of life!! But we will give a go and review at the end of 2018.

Wish us luck!

Until next time,

N